You Have a Chance to be Heard
In contrast to court, where you won’t get to talk to each other, the divorce mediation process offers both the setting and support you may need to talk. Directly. And this is critical because this is the time when parties often are avoiding each other, have stopped talking, and are not sharing information. Instead of a fight, in mediation it’s a conversation.
You Control the Outcome
As opposed to having some third party – whether attorneys or a judge – make crucial decisions about your family, you keep control of what happens in your life. Courts can tell you how much money you will get. They don’t help much with acknowledging emotions, improving communication, or solving your problems.
You and Your Spouse Are More Likely to Actually Keep Your Agreements
Since it’s the solution you both have come up with, you each have ownership of it. There is less need to worry about enforcement.
You Begin the Healing Process
The inevitable result of a court battle, whatever the financial outcome, involves blame, bitterness, and damaged relationships. What you do now will color what kind of relationship you have five years from now.
You Can Feel Proud about How You Handled Your Divorce.
You can do your divorce in a different way than you did your marriage. You can close the door of the marriage gently rather than slam it shut.
How will your children remember this time? In mediation, you are able to get through this with your self-respect intact. You’ll be able to say you didn’t run from the issues. You spoke up. You listened. You stayed at the table – out of your commitment to yourself and your family. You did this in a way that didn’t betray your values.
You Save Time, Money and Emotional Strain
When both parties are willing to work together, the costs– be it time, money, or stress –are considerably less than those of a typical contested “litigated” divorce. Most high-conflict divorces go on for more than a year. Years. Prolonged divorces deplete assets, entail expensive professional services, interrupt business, and interfere with opportunities for personal growth and the desire to get on with life. Divorce mediation, by contrast, helps achieve closure on this chapter to move on to the next one.
Most divorces are settled by agreement between the couple prior to trial. Yep, even the litigious ones. So maybe it makes sense from the outset to choose that route! Clients tell me what a difference it made for them that they chose mediation. They are grateful for the support and help they received through the process.
Choose mediation, not litigation.